Friday, March 3, 2017

SUPER SIX LIST - SIX TV CHARACTERS WHO MIGHT BE EVIL IN THE EVIL MIRROR UNIVERSE




I don't know the actual history, but I think the 'Star Trek' episode of "Mirror, Mirror" could be the first depiction of an evil alternate universe on television.  (If anybody out there knows of others that were broadcast earlier, let me know.)

But since then, the "Evil Mirror Universe" has been seen in shows like 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer', 'Hercules: The Legendary Journeys', and 'Star Trek: Deep Space Nine'.  It's probably been seen in others; it definitely was discussed in an episode of 'Community'.

So as a bit of Wish-Craft Wednesday, let's take a look at a few TV show characters as they would look in the "Evil Mirror Universe".....

"EVIL ROCKFORD"


One of the cliches most associated with a character being from the Evil Toobworld is that he should sport a Van Dyke beard.  (Evil Spock made a compelling argument for that trope as seen above.)

So if this is true, then it's easy to believe that Jim Rockford was evil in that dimension.  More than likely he was sent to prison for a crime he actually did commit.  And it was probably murrrrderrrrr......

"THE EVIL MERTZES"

Not everybody in Evil Toobworld was going to be evil.  A lot of times an evil character in the main Toobworld might be the good guy in this other world.  A good example of that would be Ares, the Greek demi-god.  In the main Toobworld, as in the established mythology from the Trueniverse, Ares was the God of War.  But in Evil Toobworld, he was the God of Love.

So a character who was neither evil in the main Toobworld nor in Evil Toobworld usually had a totally different status in that dark world......

Dead.


Such was the case with Lucy Ricardo, who was murdered by her landlords, Fred and Ethel Mertz.  The way I see it, she was supposed to have been on the road with her husband, Ricky Ricardo, and his orchestra.  But she unexpectedly came home late at night, only to discover that her supposed friends were robbing her apartment.  Panicked, Fred and Ethel felt they had no choice but to kill Lucy and make it look like she had surprised a burglar during a break-in.

"EVIL SEINFELD"


Another character who was murdered in Evil Toobworld would have been George Costanza, childhood friend of Jerry Seinfeld.  I think Jerry would have smothered George in his hospital bed because he knew George had listed him as the main beneficiary in his will.  

But here's another possibility:George was probably dating a woman whom Jerry coveted and so he had to get his old friend out of the way in order to pursue her.  

And besides... George was an annoying schlub, an inane drone.  I bet there are a lot of you out there in Team Toobworld whose evil televersion might have been tempted to do the same thing.

"EVIL SGT. FRIDAY & DETECTIVE BILL GANNON"


I think this is the one example which we can claim actually happened.  But it wasn't exactly the world of Evil Toobworld.  Instead, this is the type of scene we would have seen in the alternate timeline in which Edith Keeler  did not die on February 23, 1930.  (In fact, it might be argued that 'The Man In The High Castle' is only a temporary timeline which grew out of Dr. McCoy's interference in the fate of Miss Keeler.)

And so during this timeline, Germany was in charge of the United States.  And in that world, Friday and Gannon were investigating agents for the SS.

After the timeline was re-adjusted by Captain Kirk, everything done by these Gestapo Dragnet officers would have been wiped out of existence.

"EVIL COLUMBO"


This is probably the sickest of all the evil TV characters.  Under the cover of his position as a police lieutenant, this version of Columbo preyed on children as a pedophile.  Inappropriate dialogue and situations could be suggested in the main Toobworld even though they were considered to be innocent at the time of filming.  

Check the picnic table scene in "Identity Crisis":



"Hey, you know you're pretty? Did you know that?
Huh? Sure you are.
You know it, huh? I don't blame you.
Is that your sister? You're pretty too
."


But in Evil Toobworld, all bets are off.  Wearing that raincoat takes on a whole new meaning in Evil Toobworld.

It's like Aqualung come to life!

And is he looking around to make sure there were no witnesses to his meeting with little Stevie Spelberg?


Blerg.  Even in an imaginary scenario, I'd rather be taking a look at the murderers instead of a pedophille!

One last one, to wash that sickening image away.....

"EVIL MARY RICHARDS"

Even my ultimate TV sweetheart, Mary Richards of 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show', would have been evil in that world.  Her inner niceness would not be able to overcome that shadow on her soul.  And so she would surrender her soul to the Darkness.

She would have made prank phone calls.


I'm sorry.  I really wanted to make her a serial killer.  Or even a highly paid whore based on this picture:


God knows she had every right to kill Sue Ann Niven; fittingly, to slice her up with a butcher knife after all of the Happy Homemaker's cutting remarks.

But this is the best I can think of.  

It could have started out somewhat innocently.....


"Is your refrigerator running?
Then you better catch up to it!"


"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
Then you better let him out!"

But the rush from those types of calls could have become addictive.  And from there, their frequency accelerated and their tone got darker....


"What are you wearing?"


"Did you ever take off a piece of clothing in public and throw it into the air?  I did....."


"I didn't forget to take my pill...."


"I want you to come over and polish my Teddy Award....."


"I fell and hurt my foofoo.  Do you want to come over and kiss it?"


"They don't call me 'Mary Chipmunk Cheeks' for nothing...."

Image result for MARY TYLER MOORE PHONE ANIMATED GIF

"I like the sound of your voice.  I think you and I could be so happy together. A shame your wife is still breathing....."

Oops.  I think even Evil Mary realized she went too far.....

If I should find other characters who look like they belong in the Evil Mirror Universe, I'll share them with you.....

BCnU!

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